Korean Funerals
There are lots of things I don't like about U.S. funeral customs, like the idea of a drugged up body slowly rotting over years inside a gaudy casket in a big cement tomb. Imagine the gross drippage you would get after awhile. I'd much rather have worms eating me within a year.
Anyway, Korean burials or cremations are generally much simpler. Having said that, they also have their quirks. These are just a few among many.
1. 아이고 (I go. As in I go crazy with the number of times we had to say this). This very useful word becomes overused at a funeral. People are supposed to express sorrow between the 소주 (soju) and the 고스톱 (go-stop game). So they use this word to do so. Some people try to make it sound real as if they truly lament the loss of the person (which I'm sure some do) and some don't even try, but it is just what you do. In fact, the dude guiding us through various rites before the cremation insisted that we all say it over and over as we did each set of bows.
2. 고스톱 and 소주 (go-stop game and soju) I suppose this may not be such a bad tradition, but coming from a different funeral culture, it cracks me up to see guys who are pretty much just waiting for someone to die so they have an excuse to go 'mourn' while they drink and play games literally all night. In fact, you have to pretty much kick them out by announcing you are leaving with the body of the dead person and no longer will be renting the space for them to play in.
3. Cremation: I know not all cremation places are this efficient, as I have been in lots who meet U.S. standards and you wouldn't have seen this. But this was in 울산 (ulsan) which is a 광역시 (large city). Anyhow, we took the coffin in from the bus, and the dude had us set it right on the cart that rolls in to the furnace. Then he pushes it in. We come back in an hour and a half to meet a well cooked set of ashes. Then as if to comfort us, he invites each of us to pick up some of the charred bones of our dearly beloved and put them in a bucket. I'm not sure how that is supposed to comfort you, but apparently it does. Then they take those ashes and bones (which would be very awkward to sprinkle somewhere) and grind them up in a blender for you (it was a big industrial blending machine at least) right before your eyes. Anyway, it was kind of odd. One other odd part was when they wrapped up the body at the hospital to put in the coffin. They invite the family in and the body is wrapped up in white wrappings up to the neck. Just like a mummy. Then they invite you to come touch the cold, dead face of your dearly beloved. I’m not sure anyone would want to do that, but they pretty much insist, so in the end, a few people have to. Then they promptly put a hood over the face. It is just like a burlap sack. That is kind of odd.
4. Great place to get a date: No kidding, you wouldn't believe the number of couples that hook up at funerals. I was attending my father-in-law's funeral, which means I am married and my wife is there. Her half-sister introduced me to her friend who had been making eyes at me all night. That's an odd place to try to hit on someone, much less someone married who is attending their father-in-law's funeral, so their wife is clearly present. Plus it was my half-sister-in-law doing it. But at the same time, it is a long three days, and there is not much to do other than drink, play 고스톱, and say 아이고.
5. Money at various points: These people certainly don’t know you can’t take your money with you when you die. At various points throughout the funeral, the funeral director asked people to put money up on the coffin, in with the body, on the coffin as it is being taken in to be cremated, etc. It is awkward when it is a father-in-law who ran away and deserted the family 20 years earlier. Everyone is looking through their wallets for 1,000 bills. You see all the 10,000 KRW bills go by, but nobody wants to waste that good money on a bum.
Anyway, Korean burials or cremations are generally much simpler. Having said that, they also have their quirks. These are just a few among many.
1. 아이고 (I go. As in I go crazy with the number of times we had to say this). This very useful word becomes overused at a funeral. People are supposed to express sorrow between the 소주 (soju) and the 고스톱 (go-stop game). So they use this word to do so. Some people try to make it sound real as if they truly lament the loss of the person (which I'm sure some do) and some don't even try, but it is just what you do. In fact, the dude guiding us through various rites before the cremation insisted that we all say it over and over as we did each set of bows.
2. 고스톱 and 소주 (go-stop game and soju) I suppose this may not be such a bad tradition, but coming from a different funeral culture, it cracks me up to see guys who are pretty much just waiting for someone to die so they have an excuse to go 'mourn' while they drink and play games literally all night. In fact, you have to pretty much kick them out by announcing you are leaving with the body of the dead person and no longer will be renting the space for them to play in.
3. Cremation: I know not all cremation places are this efficient, as I have been in lots who meet U.S. standards and you wouldn't have seen this. But this was in 울산 (ulsan) which is a 광역시 (large city). Anyhow, we took the coffin in from the bus, and the dude had us set it right on the cart that rolls in to the furnace. Then he pushes it in. We come back in an hour and a half to meet a well cooked set of ashes. Then as if to comfort us, he invites each of us to pick up some of the charred bones of our dearly beloved and put them in a bucket. I'm not sure how that is supposed to comfort you, but apparently it does. Then they take those ashes and bones (which would be very awkward to sprinkle somewhere) and grind them up in a blender for you (it was a big industrial blending machine at least) right before your eyes. Anyway, it was kind of odd. One other odd part was when they wrapped up the body at the hospital to put in the coffin. They invite the family in and the body is wrapped up in white wrappings up to the neck. Just like a mummy. Then they invite you to come touch the cold, dead face of your dearly beloved. I’m not sure anyone would want to do that, but they pretty much insist, so in the end, a few people have to. Then they promptly put a hood over the face. It is just like a burlap sack. That is kind of odd.
4. Great place to get a date: No kidding, you wouldn't believe the number of couples that hook up at funerals. I was attending my father-in-law's funeral, which means I am married and my wife is there. Her half-sister introduced me to her friend who had been making eyes at me all night. That's an odd place to try to hit on someone, much less someone married who is attending their father-in-law's funeral, so their wife is clearly present. Plus it was my half-sister-in-law doing it. But at the same time, it is a long three days, and there is not much to do other than drink, play 고스톱, and say 아이고.
5. Money at various points: These people certainly don’t know you can’t take your money with you when you die. At various points throughout the funeral, the funeral director asked people to put money up on the coffin, in with the body, on the coffin as it is being taken in to be cremated, etc. It is awkward when it is a father-in-law who ran away and deserted the family 20 years earlier. Everyone is looking through their wallets for 1,000 bills. You see all the 10,000 KRW bills go by, but nobody wants to waste that good money on a bum.
posted by Subman at
10:06 PM
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